Pitchfork Music Festival (4.5)

I don't know, maybe I'm just too old for this. Had it not been for work, there's no way in hell I would've wasted a weekend at this festival. Actually, I wouldn't waste a weekend at any festival. Outdoor festivals are, for the most part, fairly miserable experiences. The music never sounds good. There are always way too many people. It takes too long to get a beer or to go to the bathroom.

Pitchfork did a number of things right. For one, ticket prices for the entire weekend were a mere $30. That's insanely low given the Live Nation's and Clear Channel's of the world. There were plenty of restrooms and plenty of places to get food, water and beer. The problem: the bands. This was hipster-nation and the choice of acts was awful. Band of Horses, Mission of Burma, Glenn Kotche...all told, I could barely tell the difference from one act to the next. They were all loud, lacking in harmony or depth and altogether just flat. Even the Silver Jews and Spoon did very little at this event. The bands were rushed and couldn't get into a groove.

And oh boy was the scene downright pathetic. I now equate hipsters with frat boys. They're basically the same. Tight t-shirts, those absurd big sunglasses, moustaches. This was just hilarious. I couldn't have felt more out of place.

This wasn't a music event, but rather a stomping ground for people to show off their vintage T. Rex and Velvet Underground t-shirts. I wanted music. I got nothing even close.