Whatever It Is

Here goes my once every six months personal post.

I've been a bit quiet of late. I guess the inspiration's been a bit lagging. I can't really pinpoint why as there haven't been any significant tumultuous moments in my life of late. Actually, maybe that has a bit to do with it. The past few months have been, well, a bit of a bore. While experiencing this malaise, I've also been going through a little overall life transitional period. The life that I've led from say age 21-31 is a life that doesn't particularly interest me much more. What was that life? Well, I certainly have tons of great memories, a few that have been bubbling in my head lately, but overall that decade was a decade of drinking, a decade of inconsistent relationships, a decade of family troubles. I don't know where things go from here on out, but there's definitely a change on the horizon. I seem to appreciate differen things today. Things like the grass in my backyard, a hello from a stranger, a catch-up e-mail from a friend, a call from my sister. Perhaps it's maturity. Whatever it is, it's an odd transition and I'm just getting used to it. I'm sure it'll all fall into place soon.

Although I feel this transition taking place, as I mentioned above, there are a number of memories that have been hitting me lately. These are moments when I felt utter and complete happiness. These surges of joy usually only lasted a few minutes or even a few seconds, but as I move into this next phase, I want to get these down in writing so not to forget:

-I often rehash a moment I had while on a vacation with a former girlfriend in Ponte Vedre, FL. One morning, we set the alarms for 430am and trekked down to the beach to watch the sunrise. Well, we got there a bit early and sat in pitch black for about 45 mins. As the sun started to creep over the Atlantic, we caught sight of another early riser. As he got closer, we noticed that he was running with his dog. As his dog pulled ahead of him, my girlfriend stood up, grabbed a random tennis ball buried right next to us and started playing with the dog. It was a moment. Something hit me and I almost lost it. Complete happiness. It's a moment I'll remember until the day I die.

-Austin, TX, 2005. I arrived for the South By Southwest Music Conference and headed out to see the band South San Gabriel. For the previous six months or so, the SSG song "New Brookland" streamed through my ipod about 500 times. As I walked into the venue, I was immediately greeted by my closest friends from New York. They ordered up a round of beers and we headed to the outdoor patio as SSG hit the stage. It was an absolutely stunning Texas night. The faint drumbeat started up and glimmering blue lights danced across the stage as the band one-by-one walked up to their instruments and crept into this stunning song. I was uplifted beyond belief. I remember turning away from my friends because I felt the tears coming. It was another one of those moments.

There are so many more: 1) Experiencing a magical Yankees World Series game from the Stadium bleachers on my brothers 21st birthday 2) Every time my younger sister makes me laugh 3) Talking to my grandmother about her life just days before her life was coming to a close 4) A 105 degree day in Cincinnati while driving around and listening to Son Volt demos in my brothers piece-of-shit AC-less Honda Accord.

Next week I head back to the East Coast to see my first sibling get married. I suppose that this day may bring on another one of those moments. And throughout this long weekend, I'm sure that her sense of humor will once again have me bursting with laughter.

The best to you all....

Oh, and going forward I'm going to start including my record of the week in each post. This week it's Bobby Bare Jr's "From the End of Your Leash" (2004)