But again, I feel like I'm running out of gas. Plain and simple, I'm becoming exhausted by the fight. No matter how hard I try, nothing seems to change. Sure, there are tiny wins, like when the dems took over the Congress in '06, but their pathetic tenure just furthers my desire to move towards apathy.
I mean, wouldn't I be happier if I just ceased paying attention? Sure, that's throwing in the towel, but I've come to realize that it's just too exhausting to try and effect change. Our government and the corporations that watch us all from above are almost impossible to reach. They have too much power. And a little guy like me just isn't heard.
This is all very saddening to me. But instead of spending my time writing letters that go nowhere, speaking up to anyone who will listen, and volunteering for causes that I believe in, maybe it's just time to step away. Maybe I should get back to the things that give me joy: music, literature, film, nature, my girlfriend, my family, my amazing friendships. Maybe I should stop looking so big picture and simply immerse myself in the small world that puts a smile on my face. I've been thinking about this for weeks, and I think it might be time. No more network news, no more checking blogs numerous times a day, no more refreshing nytimes.com countless times a day. Maybe I should check out for a while.
I want a better world, but perhaps I should sit on the sidelines for a while and just cross my fingers. I hate to even be considering this route, but I think it's necessary right now. I need less disappointment and more fulfillment. And I know I can find the latter right around me.