The 72-Hour Mark

I'm told that after 72 hours, nicotine has completely left the bloodstream, and things should get better. I'm about 90 minutes from 72 hours and things have NOT gotten any better.

The past three days have been a mix of manic tirades, nausea (mostly day three), throat pain, severe irritability, unbelievable urges/cravings and overall, just an inability to sit still. Today I randomly did 25 push-ups in the middle of the workday just to take my mind off of smoking. I try to read yet I can't get past page three. I take baths but can't lay down for more than five minutes. I wake up in the middle of the night and stuff my face with whatever drink/food is within reach. It used to seem like no one smoked, now that I'm done, EVERYONE seems to smoke. I see a cigarette at every turn. It's taunting me.

How do I defeat it? Every time I consider buckling, I think the following: 1) I've now been a smoker for 18 years! EIGHTEEN YEARS! This is no longer a hobby, 2) I think of the suits in the sweet offices at RJ Reynolds. These scum are making money off of my slow suicide. No more......! 3) Cancer.

I think I'm in the homestretch. Tomorrow HAS to be easier. And if not, the weekend should be easier. Or next week. It has to happen soon.


Gene Goodale said...

You're almost there. Stay strong. Soon you'll reach the point where you feel in control and you'll feel stronger than the urge.


Anonymous said...

have you tried keeping a little notebook handy so whenever you feel the urge, scribble in it until your hand falla off. or until you fall asleep. it helped me through some rough times.